i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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