It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
