Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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