My sheets look like a crime scene.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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