its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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