I cut my penus on the lid.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He has the fingertips of a God
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