ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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