Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize