4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
