We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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