i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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