Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
