how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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