it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
