i permit you to call me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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