it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
