these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
