Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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