trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.