Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?

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(559): View more from California

the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize

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(860): View more from Connecticut

at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.

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(360): View more from Washington

Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.

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(209): View more from California

He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER

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