Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?