Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.

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  (773): i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink. http://tfl.nu/eils
  Replies (25) Good night (3357) Bad night (542)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you

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  (321): You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you http://tfl.nu/ey1b
  Replies (71) Good night (3796) Bad night (687)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.

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  (402): The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey. http://tfl.nu/ja6h
  Replies (46) Good night (11145) Bad night (749)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Happy Birthday

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  (541): I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry. (1-541): Happy Birthday http://tfl.nu/2hsd
  Replies (14) Good night (3601) Bad night (1065)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

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  (706): I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song. (1-706): I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina. http://tfl.nu/b2qf
  Replies (81) Good night (2758) Bad night (6150)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.

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  (850): Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please. http://tfl.nu/1q4n
  Replies (17) Good night (8003) Bad night (1032)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree

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  (251): Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree http://tfl.nu/cqwy
  Replies (19) Good night (5725) Bad night (1058)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.

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  (318): my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes. http://tfl.nu/jzo6
  Replies (6) Good night (4419) Bad night (1065)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.

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  (321): We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck. http://tfl.nu/5f0o
  Replies (24) Good night (9930) Bad night (2018)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"

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  (734): we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas (810): I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick" http://tfl.nu/jn94
  Replies (9) Good night (3752) Bad night (1506)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?

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  (520): So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend? http://tfl.nu/gpxm
  Replies (3) Good night (770) Bad night (699)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Ya that ship has sailed dude

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  (317): The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh. (1-317): Ya that ship has sailed dude http://tfl.nu/5hyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1279) Bad night (441)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  I thought I was just out of shape.

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  (954): How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck? (1-954): I thought I was just out of shape. http://tfl.nu/t7eu
  Replies (0) Good night (491) Bad night (415)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me

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  (781): No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me http://tfl.nu/fnga
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (231)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.

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  (630): he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding. http://tfl.nu/dq8r
  Replies (2) Good night (206) Bad night (501)

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