Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.

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  (416): I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon. http://tfl.nu/un6b
  Replies (7) Good night (666) Bad night (4432)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.

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  (806): Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day. http://tfl.nu/6xwz
  Replies (6) Good night (2574) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot

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  (603): So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot http://tfl.nu/44v5
  Replies (22) Good night (4452) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  do you want me to make hamburgers?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i'm vegan

  (209): View more from California

  i'll put lettuce on them

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  (209): do you want me to make hamburgers? (541): i'm vegan (209): i'll put lettuce on them http://tfl.nu/hb72
  Replies (37) Good night (7695) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins

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  (305): just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins http://tfl.nu/ypgx
  Replies (27) Good night (3882) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.

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  (219): Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night. http://tfl.nu/jfm9
  Replies (68) Good night (28202) Bad night (3409)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...

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  (641): she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"... http://tfl.nu/ydyy
  Replies (11) Good night (1261) Bad night (4067)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now

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  (847): Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now http://tfl.nu/tfy2
  Replies (2) Good night (1991) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there

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  (215): i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there http://tfl.nu/r3g3
  Replies (9) Good night (809) Bad night (2513)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.

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  (865): I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on. http://tfl.nu/71nz
  Replies (5) Good night (1803) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA

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  (714): I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA http://tfl.nu/vx5m
  Replies (2) Good night (1391) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he's gonorrhea incarnate

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  (201): he's gonorrhea incarnate http://tfl.nu/krir
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.

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  (812): Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night. http://tfl.nu/i4xm
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The entire state will know me by my boobs.

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  (304): The entire state will know me by my boobs. http://tfl.nu/8hqf
  Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success

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  (314): everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success http://tfl.nu/6cn0
  Replies (0) Good night (375) Bad night (314)

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