Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water

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(972): View more from Texas

how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes

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(845): View more from New York

I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night

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23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .

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(614): View more from Ohio

He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help

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(940): View more from Texas

Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?

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(289): View more from Ontario

Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.

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(409): View more from Texas

I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.

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