All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
