i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
