Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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