found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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