glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
