ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
