WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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