just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize