I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
