Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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