Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
