well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
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This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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