Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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