Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That accounts for only three of the penises
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
