My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
