If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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