Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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