Nicole vs. Life
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
