something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
