i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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