she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
