Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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