Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
