I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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