She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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