Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize