He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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