pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
