i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
