I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
