can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize