Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
