Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
