I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm always down for nudity.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
