it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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