just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
