No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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