Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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