I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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