You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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