dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize